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America’s Frontline Doctors Open Urgent Care Centers

It was announced today that America’s Frontline Doctors plan to open a nationwide chain of urgent care centers.

“We have been struggling to get the truth out in obscurity,” said Dr. Stella Immanuel. “But now thanks to the virtuous President Trump we finally have a national stage to amplify our absolute, total true message.”

Like any other business, America’s Frontline Doctors struggled to get the initial investment of capital needed to start a nationwide chain of urgent care centers.

“It is because of the great Trump that we have recently heard from a foreign investor who wants to invest in keeping Americans healthy,” said Immanuel. “Without Mr. Vladimir, we would not be able to expand like this. He is a blessing sent from God”.

America’s Front Line Doctors plan on offering a slew of services not currently available at other urgent care centers.

“We know that our children are being exposed to the occult, but until now we’ve had no way of testing how many demons may have snuck into children,” said Immanuel. “We suspect the demons can sneak into children via our media, such as Spongebob, Daniel Tiger, Toy Story, Luna, Paw Patrol, and Bluey.”

“Bob Ross taught a whole generation that you can just invent landscapes, and that is the territory of God alone!” declared Immanuel. 

“Not to mention mimes,” explained Immanuel. “Marcel Marceau was a consort of the devil. Think about it, who is on the other end of that rope they are always pulling? Satan, that’s who!”

New testing for children is only one of the services planned to be offered by the new urgent care clinics. America’s Frontline Doctors also plan on offering gynecological testing for demon sperm, ancestral alien DNA testing, as well as ghost x-ray services.